walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize