just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
