i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
