i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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