But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
