Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
