Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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