i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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