Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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