So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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