I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
