k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
