Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
