Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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