im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Randomize