To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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