OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Enjoy the penises
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
