I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
