Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is it because I queefed?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
