Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
