When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
