just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So many bounce houses so little time
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
His nipple licking is glorious
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