after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
