I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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