I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We are two peas in an std pod
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This is my gift to your gina
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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