You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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