I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
