We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
