I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
