Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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