I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
