Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
