i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
