I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
