This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
