In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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