they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
