So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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