dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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