So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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