After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
