he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
