You smell like stripper and shame
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
