You're so nebulous sometimes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
