WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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