In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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