if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
