woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
