Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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