I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
should my penis look like a turkey
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize