Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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