Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
