absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
