I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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