I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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