i always forget guys have bellybuttons
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
