She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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