it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish you could order shots online.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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