I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
