dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
