I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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