I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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