soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
