That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize