i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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