I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
