Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
