Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize