Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
