Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
