Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
