So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
