I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
