how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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