Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
