I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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