I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize