Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
