you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
