this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This is the high leading the old right now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
